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Or did many of the ejaculate obsessives I found online simply view it as a cool party trick. I try not to take sex or life advice from anything called "The Stallion Style," but the idea that a certain set of tips would work for ANY woman seemed absurd. I went through my beloved clitoral foreplay, and then start poking around inside my vagina with the wand. So download Bustle's app from iTunes for all the most recent sex and relationships news, advice, memes, and GIFs from around the Web. Guaranteed to fulfill you more than your ex. And since raising my feminist hackles is the only way I can ever get myself to do anything including take out the garbage and file my taxes and because I am, if nothing else, an extremely dedicated vajournalist, I decided that now was the time to find out if I could squirt. The sexy stuff started promisingly enough, but when penetrating my Lady Marmalade became part of the equation, things seemed to take a turn for the ridiculous very quickly. I knew I would not orgasm from it alone. Why couldn't she just be normal. I ended our encounter abruptly, sulking. Times when it mysteriously runs dry, times when all sexual contact seems to irritate it, times when it has been plagued by weird pains that gynos have told me were all in my head. Is the real mystery the fact that we can't accept that some women's bodies operate one way, and others operate another. I still don't totally trust her — to consistently give me pleasure, to not randomly hurt — but there was something about my inability to squirt that, after I thought about it, made me feel closer to her. Which would probably explain why my initial excursions into trying to make myself squirt on my own went so poorly.

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Description: Why did she always have to be so weird. I buzzed myself to orgasm on my clit while working this rod feverishly inside me, like a video game joystick, and it felt kind of exciting, at parts. I was definitely not a squirter. So does this story have a happy ending. But after a few minutes, it stopped feeling like anything, and I knew I had another dud experiment on my hands. I had never really given female ejaculation too much thought in the past — I had one isolated incident in college where a ton of liquid came pouring out of my vagina during a totally unremarkable sexual encounter, and then it never happened ever again — but the tone of the recent female ejaculation coverage raised my feminist hackles. For my first attempt at squirting, I started masturbating in my typical way — which would be clitorally — and then started poking around inside my precious ladyflower. Or did many of the ejaculate obsessives I found online simply view it as a cool party trick. I admit that this was mostly my fault. Why couldn't she give me this one thing. In this moment, I felt like I was the sulky teen and my vagina was my mom, showing up uninvited to ruin any party I might manage to get going. Undeterred, I headed out to the wise vagina whisperers who work at sexuality emporium Babeland, to help me figure out how to do this. Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way , which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page. And maybe we have it in us to patch things up eventually.
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